Aber wenn ich könnte wie ich wollte würde ich gar nichts wollen

Ich weiß aber dass alle etwas wollen sollen

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Loes Valthen



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February 25th, 2014

FIC: My Heart Upon His Warm Heart [Les Misérables]

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My Heart Upon His Warm Heart (2881 words) by Esteliel
Chapters: 1/1
Fandom: Les Misérables - All Media Types
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Relationships: Javert/Jean Valjean
Characters: Javert (Les Misérables), Jean Valjean
Additional Tags: Toulon Era, Prison Sex, Tears, Gentleness

The truth that even now constricted his heart with unspeakable shame was that he did want this. Maybe he was going mad. Maybe he had been wrong, and there was no escape for him from the filth that had brought him forth. What other explanation could there be for this? When they had overwhelmed him, when 32142 had beaten him and spit on him and snarled into his face what they were going to do to him, he had seen 24601, and he had remembered his strength and called out for him with the despair of one who had nothing left to lose. Maybe it was that even then, the memories of his dream had still clung to him.

Javert expects pain, cruelty, revenge - but when he finds himself at the mercy of prisoner 24601, he learns that not all men are beasts.

More Valvert, because a kinkmeme prompt spoke to me.

Entry originally posted to DW: http://esteliel.dreamwidth.org/423325.html (comment count unavailablecomments). Comments are welcome in either place.

February 22nd, 2014

FIC: Kindness Like Alms [Les Misérables]

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So, yes, my first Les Mis fic happened. Because there is nothing quite like the UST between these two. <3

Kindness Like Alms (2897 words) by Esteliel
Chapters: 1/1
Fandom: Les Misérables - All Media Types
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Relationships: Javert/Jean Valjean
Characters: Javert (Les Misérables), Jean Valjean
Additional Tags: Unresolved Sexual Tension, hair porn, Javert's Confused Boner, Pre-Slash, Madeleine Era

Monsieur Madeleine did not step away to allow him to leave, and Javert hesitated uncomfortably, his eyes respectfully lowered although he felt a strange urgency to escape the mayor's almost inappropriate kindness. There was nothing strictly wrong with the mayor's behaviour. He was known to be a religious man, after all, and known to be unfailingly kind to everyone he spoke to, and yet a part of Javert chafed at the thought of receiving kindness like alms. Kindness was not his due. To do his duty was privilege enough.

Valjean is forced to help his inspector to tie back his hair. Also known as what happens when you think you'll write a quick hair appreciation drabble. Drabbles clearly cannot do justice to Javert's hair.

Entry originally posted to DW: http://esteliel.dreamwidth.org/422847.html (comment count unavailablecomments). Comments are welcome in either place.

December 7th, 2011


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I know the archive is down right now, And I'm really sorry - it's hosted on a webspace package of my dad's and it seems he forgot to pay for the next year of hosting. It hasn't vanished or anything, everything should be back as soon as he has paid for the webspace, though I don't know how quickly that hoster will react then. So, please give it a couple days - I'm really sorry for this trouble. Especially as when I put that archive online it was in reaction to LoTRFF vanishing, and I'm feeling really guilty that it might look similar now.

My internet is wonky too right now, so I'm posting this from my phone. I just want to assure you that the stories are safe and once it's back it should be the way it was. Sorry again for all this trouble!

Entry originally posted to DW: http://esteliel.dreamwidth.org/417950.html (comment count unavailablecomments). Comments are welcome in either place.

February 19th, 2011

Politics, movies, and a question

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Ahh, politics. I am so very much amused by the fact that the public discussion about our defense minister plagiarising parts of his PhD dissertation is such a complete parallel to all the plagiarism scandals I have observed in fandom. :D

A question unrelated to politics, and something I have been pondering for more than a year now without being able to come up with an answer, despite vigorous googling:

If we have a fictional king - let's call him Thranduil - who has three sons, those are given the title 'prince'. Now if the youngest of these sons - let's call him Legolas - who will not inherit the throne, has a son as well - would that son still be called 'prince'?

Because the problem I'm seeing here is, if the descendents of a prince are princes themselves, and the descendents of those descendents, then a couple generations into the future you'd have hundreds of princes/princesses per country.

We have a local prince here - his titles are apparently Prince of Hanover, Duke of Brunswick and Prince of Great Britain and Ireland - who is unfortunately better known for beating up journalists. And reading back on Wikipedia in his family tree, I do get the impression that indeed pretty much every descendent of that family gets to style himself a prince or princess, of whom there are quite a lot, so apparently it does work like that, despite my concerns.

Of course, we all know that the Greenwood only had two kings, so that question is completely hypothetical, isn't it, as none of those fictional princes will inherit the throne? I guess what confuses me is the LACE statement that most elves marry and have children once they are 50, which should mean, even if they only have 1,5 children per couple, that Arda would be overrun by elves at a certain point, seeing how they don't die. There really *should* be hundreds of direct descendents of Finwë running around by the Third Age. Maybe that's the reason why Tolkien killed most royal elves...

Completely unrelated, on Monday, I'll once again go to a movie preview with siblings and friends, this time for "Der ganz große Traum" - what looks to be a fun movie about the beginnings of football. And then I've just secured us yet more free tickets for another preview - Rango this time, in two weeks. Since I've found websites that list opportunities to get free tickets to previews, we seem to see about a movie per month, when before I used to be more of a '2 movies per year' person. I don't mind that development at all, especially since mostly these previews aren't for the big blockbusters, but lesser known movies which I otherwise might have missed.

Entry originally posted to DW: http://esteliel.dreamwidth.org/379556.html (comment count unavailablecomments). Comments are welcome in either place.

July 12th, 2009

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Happy Birthday [info]chaotic_binky! I hope you are having a wonderful day (with less rain than we have here *g*).

April 30th, 2009

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The wonderful [info]samtyr wrote an Anestel/CE AU fic which she has now posted - you can read it here:
Part 1
Part 2
Part 3
Part 4

I think she has done a really great job of turning one of my tiny drabbles into a full story, and I can already warn you that you will need tissues for this - I know that she made me cry. :( It's not a happy story, but perfect if you are in the mood for Legolas angst, just heed the warnings.

(And I am so, so glad I get to write about happier times for Legolas at last... *sigh*)

April 22nd, 2009

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I managed to find a few lovely tops and tunics in the city yesterday. Even better, I actually found a pair of sneakers which I liked in my size! That's quite a feat, as in my size, there are usually only 6 or 7 pairs to choose from. So, that was a successful afternoon, and I now have nice things to wear in this warmer weather once more.

I've put the first few fishes into my aquarium as well, as it has been running for some time now and all the water tests looked good. A small swarm of flame tetras, which are really cute and seem to like it here, too, as they have already explored all corners and seem to enjoy swimming around and below the piece of root.

Oh, and the red tiger lotus which I thought was pretty much dead? I put it into the aquarium nevertheless, as the seller said that it is fragile, but as long as the roots are intact it will grow new leaves. I wasn't sure whether to believe it as there was just one slowly dying leaf left out of formerly fifteen, but a few days ago I saw a tiny red leaf grow out of the sand. I'm so pleased it seems to have survived. :)

And it looks like shooting for the A Game Of Thrones pilot is going to start in October!

April 19th, 2009

Squeee Dreamwidth!

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OMG best suprise ever this morning: denise has invited you to join Dreamwidth!


I only set up and validated my OpenID account three days ago - so if you can't wait until Open Beta starts in two weeks, just set up an OpenID account here (as username.livejournal.com) and validate your email - they send out a bunch of codes to OpenID users every day, and if you don't get lucky (like me! *squees again*) they've promised that when Open Beta is reached, every validated OpenID user will get an invitation code, too.

I had planned to buy myself a paid account by then anyway, but it's much nicer to get the account two weeks early to fiddle around with stuff.

Once I get invitation codes I'll give them out to everyone who wants one, but really, go over to Dreamwidth now and sign up for an OpenID account to look around a bit - I love how welcoming they have made it for OpenID, you get to upload 6 userpics and get to manage a reading list (friendslist) without having a DW account!

Just keep in mind that it's not Open Beta yet, so there are many things which aren't working yet (but will in two weeks). :)

And here are lots of links with further information on Dreamwidth, and all of [info]metafandom's DW links.

April 13th, 2009


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So now Amazon claims it's just a technical glitch... Of course. A glitch that started in February... A glitch which Amazon employees assured affected authors was their new adult policy? Somehow I don't believe this...

Oh well, they can talk about a 'glitch' all they want, as long as they undo it again.

April 12th, 2009

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WTF, Amazon?

Way to ruin a perfect day...

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There has been far too much good food lately! *sigh* On Good Friday we decided quite spontaneously to have the first barbecue of the season, made possible only by the fact that there is a supermarket now in the main station, which, because it is in the main station, is allowed to open on Sundays and holidays. I think it was the only supermarket open on Good Friday in the entire state, and consequently, the selection was already quite decimated by the time my brother got there. It was still nice to sit outside for the first time this year with everyone. :)

Then yesterday, I braved the supermarkets again. People are really like vultures. Just because the shops are closed on Easter Sunday and Monday, they think they are going to starve and buy enough food to last them for two weeks. I was glad when I finally got away from all those people, and I was victorious too, with two legs of lamb. It's the first time I'm trying low temperature cooking - around midnight yesterday, I first roasted the legs in a pan, and then put them into the oven at 80°C (176F) where they still are now, ten hours later. Half an hour before we'll eat, I'll increase the temperature to 200°C (392F). Let's see how this will work out...

I also made a cake to eat in the afternoon, two layers of bisquit with berries on top and a cream made of yoghurt, orange juice and whipped cream. And then on Easter Monday, there'll be another barbecue, this time a 'real' one with all the things we love and which were sold out on Friday.

Add to that the gorgeous weather... 23°C, when ten days ago I still wore my heavy winter coat. We seem to have left spring behind to jump right to summer weather.

Happy Easter! :)


April 10th, 2009

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Happy Birthday [info]heartofoshun!

I hope you'll have a wonderful day! :)

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What a lovely day... The sun is shining brightly, it's warm, and it's a holiday. I'm going to make a salmon-spinach lasagna in a bit, and maybe try to call my sister later to see what's planned for the rest of the holidays. It would be nice to have the first barbecue of the year this weekend. :)

Adopt one today! Adopt one today!

And because I haven't shown any for some time, here are the results of my latest Poser lessons:

Poser lessons 5, 6, 7 and 8 )

The others all look a bit stupid, but I like this latest one. :)

April 6th, 2009

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I got a wonderful surprise this morning - [info]samtyr wrote a ficlet about one of the scenarios of my microfic meme! You can read it here: Yield.

I love what she has done with Glorfindel and Legolas there; this totally made my day! :)

April 5th, 2009

B2Me ficlet: Courage

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I never said I was fast... Day 17 of the B2Me challenge: Stereotypes.

Sequel to Honesty
Wordcount: 766
More of Glorfindel's backstory. :)

Courage )
Tags: ,

April 3rd, 2009

That Microfic meme

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Glorfindel/Legolas in 10 words.

Horror: Legolas woke at his touch, seeing - Glorfindel, fangs glistening red.
Angst: "His child will stay," Thranduil declared, guards barring Legolas' way.
Fluff: "Atto! Look! Ada gave me a pony!" Gîlrion exclaimed joyfully.
Fantasy: Legolas looked disturbed. "A trait of the royal line? Wings?"
UST: Legolas brushed his hair, teasing Glorfindel with a coy look.
Domestic: Near the Woods of Oromë, Glorfindel built them a mansion.
Smut: Legolas blushed, wearing but two jewels pierced through his flesh.
First Time: "Just relax; I am not going to hurt you - much."
Romance: Glorfindel finished the wreath of elanor to crown his beloved.
AU: Legolas' sword pointed at Glorfindel's throat. "Yield - or everyone dies."

April 1st, 2009

FIC: Cuil Eden 64/?

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Title: Cuil Eden
Part: 64/?
Rating: NC-17
Series: Sequel to Anestel and Ethuil'waew
Pairing: Glorfindel/Legolas
Warnings: mpreg, bdsm
Disclaimer: The elves belong to Tolkien, the situations are mine.
Lots of thanks to my beta for her hard work! :)

Partly inspired by this rather hot, NOT safe for work picture.

Read Chapter 64 )
Tags: ,

March 30th, 2009

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My water plants arrived a few days ago, and they look really good so far, apart from the red tiger lotus which might not make it. :/ But then it's not really made for my hard water here either, I just couldn't resist because it looked so pretty. Oh yes, the aquarium still isn't here, and I'm not impressed with Zooplus at all who until now never took more than two days to deliver something I had ordered. But it says it's been shipped, so hopefully it should be here tomorrow. If they don't destroy it again.

Also, CE chapter 64:

I know, I know, it's not much, but I'm working on it at least. It's all happy fluff too, but then, Legolas deserves some of that in his life as well.
So far I've bathed all the orchids and washed some clothes, and right now I really should tidy up to make room for the aquarium (if it ever arrives), but my stomach is a little upset with me, so it's much nicer to sit here with a hot water bottle and stare at Word.

Also, new Kings today! *torrents*

March 25th, 2009

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Another Poser pic, inspired by yesterday's B2ME prompt: Maglor throwing the silmaril into the ocean.

What is the greatest sacrifice you can be asked to make? Think or write briefly about this.

Write a story, poem or create an artwork where the characters make their greatest sacrifice.

Picture )
Tags: ,

March 24th, 2009

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Argh! Never ever GLS again... Next time, I'll just deal with the insulting DHL guy as he at least does his job.
Guess who didn't get her aquarium? I was waiting impatiently for it yesterday, checking the tracking number of my parcel at least 20 times, but no GLS came... And in the evening the tracking information changed to say that they were returning it to the sender as it couldn't be delivered to me. What the hell? I've been waiting for it all day, no one rang the bell, and there was no notice in the mail. Also I am pretty sure that they have to attempt delivery at least 2 times before they can return it?

I'm certain that I know what happened... The driver didn't feel up like delivering a parcel that weighed 24kg, as I've not only ordered the aquarium but also sand for it. I've never had problems with GLS before, but this is definitely the last time I've ever ordered something that gets delivered by them. I wrote Zooplus an angry mail, let's see what they say to that.

Enough ranting for now... This weekend there was a huge 50% off sale at Poserama, who sell adult poses for Poser. ;) Guess who bought far more than she wanted? But now I have a huge folder of m/m poses, which should last me for quite a while. And I made a Glorfindel/Legolas scene using one of those poses yesterday, with which I'm rather happy. I'm using Nana Hair for Legolas which looks very good on him, I think - I'll try Pallene Hair next, but if that doesn't work out, Nana Hair it is for him. Those little braids look rather cute on him. :)

Glorfindel's hair still doesn't look at all like I imagine it. It's Amante Hair still as it seems impossible to find curly long hair. :/ I'm going to continue searching though. If nothing works out, I guess I could try to add his hair as postwork... I found these hair brushes that will work in Photoshop and Gimp, actually those might come in handy for those of you doing manips: http://www.obsidiandawn.com/people-brushes
But I'd really prefer to find good hair for him for Poser, as then I don't have to worry about lighting and shadows.

I'm using Michael 4 for Glorfindel and David 3 for Legolas... David is actually only half a head smaller than Michael, although he looks much smaller here. I think this might be because I gave Michael more muscles, whereas David somehow didn't take the body morphs. I'll have to try and reinstall them, I think he could use a tiny amount of muscle.

Oh, and I also installed the Millenium Horse, so here is a worksafe picture of Legolas cuddling with Asfaloth: Read more... )

And here are a few not worksafe Glorfindel/Leolas pictures. Read more... )
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